Yesterday night I went to see I Am Legend in the cinema in The Hague. I liked it, but this morning I woke up after having a nightmare about creepy creatures. A few days before I watched Resident Evil (part 2 and 3), and I Am Legend was the last bit of movie that drove me to this nightmare I guess. I was at a large gym kind of room, and there were a lot of people I know. It kind of looked like a party. All of a sudden I had to go to the toilet. So I went to the toilet, but the toilet was locked, and I wondered why anyone would lock the room to the toilets, if there were more toilets in the room of toilets. But after a while two guys from school came out of the toilet room and the room was open again. I went to the first toilet. But on the other side of the room, I saw other people, and they were looking weird out of their eyes. Their eyes were bloodshot and I got scared. But as stupid as I was in my dream, I decided to go to the toilet instead of running away. And that was the moment they came after me. The zombie like people (like in RE) came after me, and they ran fast (like in I Am Legend) and I got so scared that I woke up. In bed. And I felt weird.

Merry christmas and a happy new year.

I don't feel old. But whenever I say it, it only sounds old.

I got myself a new haircut. It's no extreme change, I just got myself some bangs. A bit messy and not too thick. I quite like it. I know this message is worth nothing without a picture, but oh well. :)

I went to see the movie Beowulf last weekend. What a waste of two hours of my life. Horrible movie. I almost fell asleep too, but unfortunately I couldn't.

I could've left the movie earlier off course, but I wanted to warm a bit before going back to the cold and the rain outside.

I need someone to say to me that everything is going to be alright. That everything will be ok.

That is all I need right now.

My hair is getting longer and longer. And I like that. I want to grow my hair longer. But unfortunately I think I need to go to the hairdresser to cut the dead ends off... I have a lot of dead ends, which I am cutting myself sometimes... I hope that the hairdresser's not going to be wild and enthusiastic when he cuts my hair, they always tend to cut your hair shorter that you'd like...

I went to see the doctor yesterday, because my neck was hurting again. This weekend, I didn't even know how to handle my body - should I sit, stand, lay down, I just didn't know... it all hurt.

The doctor prescribed me some special painkillers. He couldn't tell me what the cause of my constant pain was, but he told me there's a great chance it's stress that's causing the painful tension.

And he could be right. I don't feel really well lately, without any real good reason. It's kind of like mood-swings. Sometimes I feel normal or happy, but a lot of the time I can also feel very very sad. And when I'm sad, I'm really feeling almost depressed or something. Depressed. Tired. Not motivated to do stuff. I don't want to blame the winter blues. But really, I just don't know what to do about this.

I am so afraid that these sudden mood-swings will affect the way I socialize with people. I don't want people to notice how bad I feel. I know they mean well when they ask me what's the matter, but I just can't tell. And then I feel guilty, which isn't really helping me getting out of my negative mood. Hmmm.